


Saigon

by cynatnite



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-09
Updated: 2011-04-09
Packaged: 2017-10-17 19:11:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/180267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynatnite/pseuds/cynatnite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starsky and Hutch meet in Vietnam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saigon

September 1969

Whatever happens in a smoky Vietnamese bar nobody cared. Wild music played over the speakers nearly drowning out most conversation, liquor and beer was being had by all without exception. Young Vietnamese hookers and dancers were plying their trade to earn that extra few bucks from the drunken American men fighting their own people.

Starsky always found it humorous and that was the only funny thing he ever found in this country. At twenty-three years old, he felt a hundred. In the middle of his second tour of ‘Nam he had seen enough already. As soon as it was done, he was going home. He was a fool for signing on for a second one.

Lighting a cigarette, Starsky took a slow gaze around the room. Two of his men had already cornered willing girls. One was straddling a young PFC’s thigh. He waved off a prostitute looking to get his attention and picked up his beer.  
Out of the corner of his eye, Starsky saw a blond with heavy-lidded eyes in the corner of the bar. He watched the young hooker running her hands along his chest and the man made no effort to either enjoy or shrug off the attention.  
She pulled him to his feet and he stumbled after her towards the stairs. Starsky knew a roll job when he saw one.

He turned back to the bartender. “Joe, who’s the chick on the stairs?”

“She be Jan.” Some girls took on American names in order to appeal to the GIs. The bartender shook his head. “She trouble that one.”

Yeah, he knew. Why should he care? Stupid officer new in country deserved whatever he was getting. Starsky had seen enough greenhorn tins like that to know how many body bags they filled. He went back to his beer and smoke.

~*~

Nothing. That’s all Hutch wanted to feel. As long as no emotion or memories could penetrate he could care less about anything else. He had gotten the grass from an MP he knew. After a few joints and several drinks he was well on his way to not feeling…at least until he sobered up. Hopefully, not for a hell of a long time, he thought.

Half-laying on the dirty cot, Hutch laid his head back and let his eyes close. He didn’t give a damn what the girl did to him. He hoped he would get off, but had his doubts.

He barely heard her words through the haze of drugs and alcohol. Her nails were running along his legs up to the button on his greens. Damn it! His dick wasn’t feeling much either.

There was a loud bang, some yelling and other racket. What it was, Hutch didn’t know and didn’t care. He was ready to find oblivion. A hand jerked on him and when he was forced up, he groaned in protest.

Whoever was dragging him out of the room wasn’t listening to him. When blackness came Hutch was relieved to find peace.

~*~

His head weighed a ton. Hutch’s eyes came open and when he looked up he had no idea where he was. Holding his head, he sat up on the small bed. Looking down he saw most of his clothes still remained on him. His combat boots sat on the floor and on the table were a few other items.

The door came open, and in walked a man he didn’t know. Crew-cut short dark hair with a few curls on top, he held out a small bag and a cup of coffee. “Closest I could get to an American breakfast.”

Unsure of what to say, Hutch nodded and took them. He set the coffee aside and opened up the bag. Out came a small Vietnamese sandwich made of onions and egg sprinkled with soy sauce. Hutch’s stomach churned and he set it on the bed.

Starsky sat on the small chair and lit a cigarette. He held the pack out to Hutch. “You alive yet?”

“I’ll make it.” After Hutch had lit one, he picked up the coffee. “Thanks.”

“You were goddamn stupid.”

“Yeah, I’m known for that.” Hutch took a long drag and blew the smoke out. He eyed the stripes on the soldier’s shoulders. “Why, Sergeant?”

“It’s Starsky. You were ripe for the picking. That hooker would’ve cleaned you out.”

“Call me Hutch.”

“I’ll stick with Lieutenant.”

“God.” Hutch shook his head. “Why anyone thinks college is a reason to make anyone a fucking officer is beyond my understanding.”

“Other college jerks made that decision.” Starsky flicked an ash on the floor.

“It’s not real, Starsky.” Hutch scooted back on the bed until his back was to the wall. “It’s so people like me can pretend we’re important for a little while and we can stand on the backs of those we kill.”

Staring at him, Starsky realized this wasn’t just some idiot rich boy playing soldier. “What happened?”

It was a crazy laugh. Hutch knew how it sounded and he didn’t give a damn. “He was fucking nineteen years old and there wasn’t enough left of him or my radio man to send back to their mothers. Goddamn grenade right at their feet.”

Hutch lifted the cigarette and blew on the cherry to keep the ember going. The bloody body parts were etched in his brain. “The orders are to stagger along the trail. Never give the fucking VC a reason to take more than one man down at a time. That damn kid walked over to Watts in the middle of a fucking trail. The grenade was between them before I even had my mouth open.”

Hutch couldn’t believe he just spilled out his nightmare so damn fast to a complete stranger. Who the hell was this guy?

“Goes with the territory. Nothing you can do about it. Move on and save your own ass.” Starsky took a final drag on his smoke, dropped it to the floor and squashed it with his boot.

“Is that what you do?”

Starsky shrugged his shoulders. “I keep myself alive first. Everybody else comes in second.”

“Maybe I need to learn to be as goddamn selfish as you.”

“It’ll get you home in one piece…mostly,” he added. Too much of himself would be left in this country if he got out alive as it was.

“I still have a couple of days leave.” Hutch sat up and dropped the finished smoke in the cup. “What do you say?”

“See how much trouble we can get into?”

“You might earn a medal keeping me out of the bed of a thieving hooker.”

With a chuckle, Starsky nodded. “Sure, I don’t have to be back for a few days either.” Hutch was a lonely sap looking to stay breathing like him. Why not?

~*~

After some sleep, that night they hit Saigon. A trip to the movies got them in the mood for a good time and began floating in and out of bars. The drinking was kept to a minimum and walking down the sidewalk in the warm night they laughed and talked while winding their way through the thick crowds.

Hutch lit a cigarette and handed it to Starsky. “Got a girl at home?”

“Several,” Starsky answered with a twinkle in his eye. “Not ready to pick out a Mrs. Starsky just yet. You?”

“Nope. Might get a normal life once I finish law school.”

“Lawyer, huh?”

“My father’s idea. Not a bad one, I guess. It’ll pay the bills.”

“Bills, hell. It’ll pay for a big house, nice car and a pretty wife.”

With a chuckle, Hutch shook his head. “That’s exactly what he thinks and then some.”

“Don’t knock the all-American dream.”

“My father’s aspirations are bigger than that. He sees a political career to follow my successful heroic tour in Vietnam.”

“Really?”

“It looks good on a resume’, Starsk.”

“So what do you want to do when you get home?”

“I don’t know. There’s gotta be something more than this.”

When it dawned on Starsky, he stopped Hutch with a hand on his arm. “You volunteered, didn’t you?” Seeing the nod, he couldn’t believe it. “Why in the hell would you do something stupid like that?”

Hutch moved near an alley and turned to Starsky. “Before I left home, I bought it all. God, country and honor. Coming here and killing them was saving America. I was a carbon copy of my father until a week in country. That was when I killed a young girl carrying what was supposed to be a basket of vegetables. We have no business being here, Starsky.”

Starsky started walking again. “Never heard an officer talk like that before.”

“You won’t either…at least when I’m around other officers.” Hutch inhaled the tobacco and sighed. “You’re the only one I’d tell.”

That made Starsky feel good. He liked Hutch a hell of a lot and wished their leave would last longer. “You could’ve bought your way out of this damn place even after getting here.”

“Wouldn’t be fair if I took the easy ride back home.” Hutch tossed the smoke aside. “What about you?”

“Oh, I’m one of the idiots who thought Canada was too cold.” Starsky hit a rock with his foot and smiled a little. “Carried my draft card to the reporting station like a good little soldier. Signed up for a second round at this place because I couldn’t hack leaving the FNGs to get their heads blown off.”

“Yeah,” Hutch agreed. FNGs were ‘fucking new guys’. He’d seen too many meet their maker already. “And when you’re done?”

“Go home to California.”

“That’s a New York accent if I ever heard one,” Hutch chuckled.

“Yep. Moved to the west coast when I was a kid. I was a pain in the ass after my old man got shot down.”

“Jesus, Starsky.” Hutch stopped and turned towards him. “I’m sorry.”

Seeing the honest remorse in Hutch’s eyes, Starsky touched him again. He never used to be like this before. “Thanks. That means a lot.” They started walking again and Starsky continued. “One night Pop was seeing some people. I don’t know who, but whatever he was involved in got him killed that night.”

“Think he was into something illegal?”

“No…I don’t think so. Pop wasn’t like that, but he knew a lot of wiseguys back then. He and Ma had a bakery. She runs it now with my brother’s help.”

“In New York?”

“I was thinking of helping her out with it, but hell, I grew up in Southern California. That’s home.”

“Any ideas?”

“Help my uncle at his garage, but I don’t want to be crawling under cars for the rest of my life. Figure it out after I get home I suppose.” Passing through the crowd, Starsky sighed. “Just want to forget this place exists…at least for the next 30 years or so.”

Hutch couldn’t agree more and as they strolled through the night, they learned more about each other than they would ever imagine. Opening up was easy and their connection to one another grew.

~*~

In the early morning hours they returned to the small room each carrying a beer and laughing over the night’s antics and partying. Hutch collapsed on the bed and looked up at Starsky. “We have got to do this again.”

“We probably won’t get another chance.” Starsky set his beer down and unbuttoned his shirt.

He may be right, Hutch thought. “You wanna arm wrestle for the bed?”

“We can fit on it.” After taking his shirt off, Starsky laid it across the chair. “You put your head at one end and I’ll take the other.”

Hutch laughed. “Yeah, and I get to smell those feet of yours.”

“I got great smelling feet.”

“No one has good smelling feet, Starsk.”

He looked at Hutch out of the corner of his eye. “I figure those long legs of yours would go past my head anyway.”

When Starsky saw the surprised look in Hutch’s eyes, he turned away. “Goddamn beer. Must’ve had too much.”

Smiling, Hutch felt too damn good to let it bother him. “Never had anyone notice my legs before.” He grew concerned at seeing Starsky lower his head some. Hutch sat up. “What’s wrong?”

Shaking his head, Starsky said, “Why do you gotta be here? Nobody as fucking blond as you deserves to be in a place like this.”

“I told you,” Hutch answered in a soft voice. He got to his feet and went to Starsky. “We poured out our life stories tonight. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“You’re around and this place isn’t a stinking hellhole anymore.” Starsky wanted to look at Hutch. He could get lost in those damn ocean eyes.

Nothing else needed said. Hutch knew what Starsky needed. He needed it, too. He touched Starsky’s cheek and guided him around to face him. “It’s the same for me.” Hutch stepped in close, ran his fingers over Starsky’s eyes down to his lips and leaned towards him.

Once their lips touched a torrent of emotions and lust ran through them. Starsky pushed his tongue into Hutch’s mouth. He groaned at the intimate contact and inhaled the taste of beer and cigarettes. The sexiness of the act drove him on and he worked at the buttons on Hutch’s shirt.

Clothes were thrown off and once on the bed, Hutch rolled on top of Starsky keeping their mouths fused. He ground his hips into Starsky and moaned his want into Starsky.

Starsky broke the kiss and pushed Hutch to his back. He went to a small nipple and his cock jumped in response to his lover’s begging. When his hand found Hutch’s heavy erection, he began sliding down and went to his knees on the floor. Starsky wet Hutch’s organ with his mouth making sure it was well covered.

“Fuck!” Hutch grabbed onto the sheets and thrust his hips up to Starsky’s mouth. The sucking on his cock was driving him mad. “God, yeah, Starsk! Suck it!”

“You’re fucking beautiful.” Starsky resumed his pleasurable task and knowing what he liked, he gave it to Hutch the same way. He lifted his head and looked at the wanting man on the bed. “I want you to fuck me, Hutch.”

Hutch opened his eyes and looked at Starsky. Not only the request got his attention, but so was the use of his name in such a way. Hutch didn’t think he could ever hear Starsky say his name without wanting to fuck him. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I want it. Want you inside me so damn bad. I got you wet enough for it.”

“What if I hurt you?”

“You won’t. I mean, I don’t think you will. I’ve never done this before.”

Hutch almost laughed. “I haven’t either.” He scooted over and Starsky got on the bed with him. Being nestled so close and intimate with the man brought forth not just the sexual need, but the growing affection that was getting out of control.

Rolling to his side to make room, Hutch looked over Starsky’s body. Never in his life had he ever seen anything so damn erotic. He leaned down and offered a kiss. Hutch moved his mouth along Starsky’s jaw line leaving a wet path from his tongue. The skin, spicy and hot, sent thrills through him.

He got on his knees and continued the sexual exploration of Starsky’s most sensitive areas. Hearing the heavy breathing and his name, Hutch almost smiled. He worked his way down until he was hunched over. Once at the needy cock, there was no hesitation to take it in his mouth.

“Awe, shit, Hutch!”

“Say my name again, Starsky,” Hutch breathed. “Let me hear you.”

“Please, Hutch,” Starsky begged. “Don’t stop. Just don’t fucking stop!”

Taking the organ in his mouth, Hutch took his time in discovering every sweet spot. He straightened and was satisfied to see Starsky with his eyes closed, mouth half-open and wanting him.

Hutch grabbed the pillow and caressed Starsky’s firm backside. “Lift your ass.” When he did, Hutch shoved the pillow underneath him, then lifted Starsky’s legs. He wet two fingers, then with a gentle push, had them inside Starsky’s rectum. “Tell me if I hurt you.”

“Goddamn, that feels good.” Starsky moved against the fingers stretching him and filling him. He wanted…no, he needed more. “Come on, babe. Now. Do it now.”

With eyes locked on the writhing man, Hutch grabbed a hold of his erection and placed it at Starsky’s opening. He pushed and was alarmed at the sudden widening of Starsky’s eyes.

“Don’t you dare fucking stop!” Starsky ordered. He wrapped his legs around Hutch’s waist for more.

After Hutch was further inside, he whispered, “How you doing, partner?”

“Shit, Hutch, if you had any idea how this felt…” When Hutch moved farther in, Starsky lifted his hips to meet the thrusting.

The clenching Starsky’s ass had on his cock was as fucking erotic as anything he had ever known. Hutch’s blood was pumping in rhythm to the rocking of his hips. He looked down and the carnal pleasure running through him doubled at seeing him pushing in and out of Starsky.

Out of instinct, Hutch got a hold of Starsky’s erection and as he fucked him, he pumped on the hard cock.

“Now! Shit, Hutch, now!” He growled, pushed his hips off the bed as the climax hit. Warm drops hit his belly and as the spasms subsided, Starsky opened his legs wider.

Hutch released his cock, threw his head back. “Oh, God, yeah!” As he came inside of Starsky, he kept moving in and out to milk all there was out of him. With great care, Hutch pulled out and lay his drained body on top of Starsky’s uncaring of the seed spilled between them.

“Damn, I could do that a few more times.”

With a little laugh, Hutch moved aside so Starsky could get up. “Same here.” He took great pleasure in watching the firm body walk naked across the room to retrieve the cigarettes. It was like watching a sleek panther the way the tight muscles rippled as he moved.

Starsky lit a smoke and tossed the pack and matches to Hutch. He went to the window and pushed it open. There was just enough breeze to cool his sweaty body. “You know, this ain’t something we can do on a regular basis, Hutch.”

After Hutch lit his, he went to Starsky. “No one would care…not here.”

“We may be a million worlds away from home, but they’d still care and you know it. First time they find out the shiny officer and the dirty grunt are fucking in Saigon we wouldn’t have anyone to give a damn enough to keep the VC off our asses.”

Hutch toyed with the cigarette between his fingers. “Are you saying this is it?”

“It’s gotta be. You know that.”

With a sigh, Hutch said, “I guess I do.” He propped his elbows on the sill and leaned forward. “No goddamn war, no expectations and no outside world.”

“We’ll make it last as long as possible.” Starsky got a hold of Hutch’s hand and squeezed it. “For right now, nothing else matters.”

Nothing else did matter to either of them until the next morning when they were forced to say their goodbyes.

~*~

Starsky never did ask where in Vietnam Hutch was stationed. All he knew was Binh Thuan Province which could mean anywhere within a hundred square miles north and northeast of Saigon. Even swearing that their interlude could never happen again, Starsky still held out hope. Hutch was his escape from this hellhole.

As slim as the chance was, he wished to see Hutch as he held out the new orders to Captain Haverly. Cigar-smoking and abrasive, Starsky saw a rough man who expected ‘yes sir’ and nothing else.

Chewing on the thick cigar, Haverly skimmed over the papers. “Your commander will be here shortly, Sergeant. He lost his squad leader a week ago and your unit’s damn near gone. What happened at Da Nang?”

“Ambush, sir. Charlie got on top of us before we knew what hit us. Me and a buddy were the only ones who walked away.”

“Goddamn fucking chinks,” Haverly muttered. “We’re losing too many damn squad leaders so keep your ass low.”

“Yes, sir.”

When the door opened behind him, Starsky turned his head just enough to see his new commander walk into the room. His eyes widened.

Hutch almost tripped at seeing Starsky. He struggled to keep his emotions in check. “Lt. Hutchinson reporting, sir.”

“At ease, Lieutenant. Your new squad leader…Sergeant Starsky.”

Hutch took the orders from his captain and glanced at them. “Thank you, sir.”

“Dismissed.”

Both men snapped to attention, did an about face and walked out of the room. Starsky tried to gage Hutch’s reaction to this sudden surprise and didn’t get any. Once they were outside he was pulled off to the side.

“What the hell his going on, Starsky? I thought we decided…”

“I had nothing to do with it, Hutch. I wouldn’t’ve. These orders came down from command.”

“Get your gear.” Hutch waited for Starsky to get his duffle bag and as they walked he looked over. “You were one of the men who came out of that nasty fire fight a few weeks ago near Da Nang.”

“Didn’t know it got around.”

“Saving your own ass again?”

“Me and another guy had the same idea. We got ripped to pieces that day.”

Hutch stopped and stepped in front of Starsky. “Let me tell you something right now, Starsky. I’ve got kids that want to go home. Don’t go into self-preservation to the point of sacrificing them.”

“I gotta sleep at night and that ain’t gonna happen if I leave my men behind. That’s why I took a second tour in the first place.” Starsky tilted his head. “Besides, I kinda like my ass the way it is.”

With a shake of his head, Hutch sighed. “Yeah, I like it too.”

They began walking again and Hutch pointed to a large tent. “Your squad’s in there. A couple of wet behind the nose kids. Masters loves the weed too much so you’ll have to keep an eye on him. Eddie’s an asshole, but he’s the best damn medic in the Army. He was taking pre-med and got drafted. Didn’t take the deferment like everyone else. The others are okay.” Hutch nodded towards a smaller tent. “I’m there. After you get settled come over and we’ll go over the patrols.”

An hour later Starsky emerged from his new living quarters. He could work with the men. They all seemed capable and even as much antagonism most had for the medic, there was a bond he liked. Their loyalty to Hutch impressed him.  
He went across the compound and was let inside. Hutch was finishing up a report at his small desk. He looked up to see Starsky stand at attention.

“Shit, Starsky, don’t do that.”

“Gotta observe the protocol, sir.”

“Fuck the protocol and fuck you, too.”

“You did, sir.” Starsky couldn’t hide his grin or the blush in his cheeks. “A couple of times if I remember right.”

Hutch got out of his chair and pulled Starsky close. He gave him a thorough kiss that left both men breathless. “This is crazy. We can’t get caught.”

“We’ll be careful.” Starsky kissed him back. “Does that door got a lock?”

“Yeah, and you better not make any noise, Sergeant. This is a tent, you know.”

With the door locked, they pulled their clothes off and once at the cot, they were skin to skin, mouth to mouth and body to body. Their bodies remembered and came alive as they moved against each other. In a matter of minutes, they laid in each other’s arms coming down off the high of finding satisfaction. The hot tent was thick with the smell of sex.

Hutch reached over Starsky to the small stand near the cot and got a couple of cigarettes. He lit both and handed one off. “We said we weren’t going to do this again.”

“I know,” Starsky admitted. “Thought about you a lot in the last few weeks. It was enough to know if I ever got another chance at you, I wasn’t going to let it slide by.”

“Glad you didn’t,” Hutch said.

“On the trail, it’ll be all business, Hutch. What we do here can’t mean a damn out there.” Starsky stuck the smoke in his mouth and sat up. “Just so you know I cut a deal with Masters.”

“What kind of deal?”

“He can have his weed after patrols, but if I as so much catch a leaf on him before or during he’ll be doing latrine duty for at least a month.” He slid on his underwear and looked at Hutch.

“Sure.” Hutch sat up and took a long drag. He watched Starsky put on his greens. “You sure about this? Us?”

“No.” Starsky sat on the bed and put on his socks. “We could be fucking ourselves while we’re fucking each other. Damn, Hutch. I gotta have some sanity in this place and you’re it.”

“Yeah.” It was the same for Hutch. He was only sane when Starsky was close by. The last few weeks he’d been at the breaking point and losing his previous squad leader had been a hard blow to take. “Chow’s in a few hours. They’ll expect you to make an appearance.”

“And you’ll be rubbing shiny bars with other officers.”

“Protocol sucks,” Hutch said with a grin.

“Yeah, but you’re better.” Starsky finished buttoning his shirt, turned and gave Hutch a kiss. “See ya’ later.”

When he was gone, Hutch laid back on the cot. “Please, don’t let this be a mistake,” he groaned. They get caught and it could mean their lives.

~*~

Time either passed in an instant or at a snail’s pace in Vietnam. Between the bouts of intense violence were the lulls of peace and boredom. The next month was just that between the patrols and the sparse mortar attacks.

The sudden attacks always came from the unexpected. Viet Cong dressed as farmers pulling a cart. Some were girls attempting to ply their wares and even children posing as shoe shine boys carrying explosives were among the many offensives.

After losing two men in a vicious attack fresh faces took their places. Hutch gave the usual speech about saluting, socks and STD’s. He turned them over to Starsky and left.

Hutch was always careful of not allowing himself to get too close. He learned early on in his tour that it wasn’t done. Becoming friends with the men he might send to their deaths could bring harsh feelings from those left behind. The cohesiveness a unit depended on would be damaged beyond repair.

For Starsky, it was a different story. He became father, brother and friend. It was easy despite the cavalier attitude he carried around. One soldier in particular got Starsky’s friendship almost immediately. Leonard Frohman was a gangly twenty-year old from Starsky’s New York neighborhood. The friendship between Starsky and the Jewish kid grew.

Even during all of this, both Starsky and Hutch managed a few trips to Saigon and would spend their time at the same hotel they had first discovered their passion for one another. Between the getaways, Starsky would go to Hutch’s tent for a few secretive moments. If anyone knew, no one spoke of it.

Under the hot sun the monotony was weighing down on Starsky and Hutch who sat on lawn chairs without their shirts. It was broken by Starsky picking up a rock and tossing it at an overturned empty barrel.

“Beat that,” Starsky gloated.

Hutch leaned over, picked up one and threw it in. “Best out of five?”

“Sandbag detail tomorrow,” Starsky challenged. “I’ll have to sell tickets for that one. Not every day an officer is filling sandbags.”

“We’ll see about that, chump.” Hutch made another throw and the rock landed inside.

They went back and forth a few more times, but the game was interrupted by a mortar shell landing several hundred feet away. They dived to the ground for cover.

“Southwest corner!” Hutch yelled.

The blast was followed by several others. He and Starsky got to their feet and retrieved their M16’s. As Hutch barked out orders, Starsky grabbed two grenades and headed for the fence line. He pulled both pins and threw them at the oncoming Viet Cong soldiers.

“Hensley!” Hutch hollered at a soldier. “Get on that M60!”

For almost half an hour they fought off the VC. Hutch could barely see Starsky through the choking smoke, but there was enough visibility to see him taking cover behind the sandbags.

Starsky got off several shots before taking cover. He pulled out the magazine. “I’m out.” He was thrown another by Frohman and turned his attention back to the battle.

The skirmish was beginning to die down and Starsky got to his feet. He saw Frohman coming back carrying an ammo box and the sudden blast blew him backwards.

Time did stop at that moment for Hutch. He turned his head and saw Starsky lying on the ground covered in blood and gore. His heart twisted at the sight and Hutch ran over. “Medic!” He screamed.

Starsky was still getting his bearings as he sat up. He only saw the red covering his chest as Hutch was frantic to check him for wounds. “It’s not mine,” he mumbled. “Not mine.” He froze when he felt a small chain on his fingers.

With a slow pull, Starsky lifted his hand and saw the red sticky dog tags. He didn’t have to read it to know who they belonged to. “It’s not mine,” he whispered.

“Eddie, get him out of here,” Hutch ordered. As much as he wanted to be with Starsky at this moment, he couldn’t. They had yet to determine how badly they’d been hit. Casualty lists had to get made. Hutch took the bloody dog tags from Starsky.

After Starsky was away, Hutch looked around him. Pieces of Frohman were all around him. “Goddamn,” he muttered.

~*~

Over the next three days there was little time to take stock of their losses. Reinforcing their defenses and rebuilding took priority. Brush had to be cut back another three hundred yards, two guard towers were demolished and security was tightened.

Seeing Starsky working, Hutch could tell he was just going through the motions. He worried more with each day that passed without an attack. Once the inevitable happened, there was no telling how Starsky would react or even if he would.

The few times Hutch managed to pull Starsky aside, the assurances he got were deflections and brush offs. Some time off was coming and Hutch was determined to drag Starsky to Saigon.

He went in search of Starsky and finally asked Eddie. “Where’s Starsky?”

Eddie looked up from the letter he was writing. “Think he took off to Saigon, sir.” He picked up the pencil and went back to the paper. “Good thing, too. Sarge has been a regular bastard the last few days.”

In half an hour Hutch had a jeep and was on his way to Saigon. He parked behind the hotel and paid a boy to watch the vehicle with a promise of more to come. Hutch headed to the room that had become almost like a home away from hell.

Without knocking, he pushed open the door and halted at the sight. Starsky sat in a chair near the table staring at a filled syringe. “Jesus Christ,” Hutch swore. He swiped it and the rest of the contents off the table onto the floor.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Starsky yelled.

Hutch jerked Starsky to his feet. “I’m asking you the same thing, Starsky.”

Starsky pulled away from him. “Did it work for you? Did forgetting and feeling no pain work that night I found you?”

“No,” Hutch answered. The fury slipped away from him. “Nothing does. You know that.”

“I don’t know shit,” Starsky bit out. He looked at the drug-filled hypo on the floor. “Maybe just enough to make Frohman’s blood and body parts go away.”

Hutch stepped in close to Starsky. “You can’t make it go away, but maybe you find another way to deal with this.”

“Been dealin’ so damn much I can’t get past it.” Starsky began pacing the small room wishing he could hit something.

“Use me.” Hutch put his hand on Starsky’s chest to stop him. “Take whatever’s going on in you and use me to get it out of your system.”

“You have no idea what you’re asking of me, Hutch.” Starsky shook his head.

“Yeah, I do.”

Their eyes locked, Starsky saw Hutch knew exactly what he was saying. He was on the verge of doing violence and had been since that day. He clenched fists and took a deep breath.

Starsky jerked Hutch close, ran his hand into the blond hair and pulled his head back for access to the half-open mouth. The kiss was hard and demanding, but not enough. Starsky needed more.

When Hutch was shoved towards the bed, then pushed to the floor, his heart was pounding and his body was hardening at the rough treatment. He felt Starsky moving behind him and he laid his chest on the bed and grabbed onto the sheet.  
The anger was continuing to build like an angry volcano seeking release. Starsky got on his knees behind Hutch, reached around and worked open his pants. Once undone, he yanked them down dragging the underwear with them.

 _Shit!_ Hutch heard Starsky spitting on his hand then two fingers were shoved inside of him. He let out a deep breath as he was stretched and manipulated. With no other preparation needed, Hutch was still unprepared for the sudden shock of Starsky’s cock being thrust inside him all the way. “God!”

Starsky took hold of Hutch’s hips and began fucking him. The pounding was immediate and as the rage in him turned to frantic need, he quickened his pace. Starsky didn’t give a damn about Hutch’s need…only his.

The orgasm hit like a violent tornado and he didn’t slow down one bit as he reached his peak. “Fuck!”

Once the intense sex was over, Starsky leaned over his lover’s body and rested his head on Hutch’s back. “God, Hutch. I keep seeing him all over me.”

After catching his breath, Hutch said, “I know, babe. I know.”

Starsky pulled out, adjusted his pants and sat on the bed. He watched Hutch do the same. “You okay?”

“This wasn’t about me.” Hutch pulled Starsky close and they stretched out on the bed together.

Looking up at the ceiling, Starsky began talking. “He got his girl pregnant, you know. He was shipping out and they couldn’t wait until the wedding. All he talked about…” The tears wouldn’t stop now. “Was getting home, marrying her and giving his kid a name.”

Hutch kissed Starsky’s forehead then wrapped his arms around him and held onto him until the tears ran dry.

~*~

With every fevered coupling, both knew how little time they had together. Starsky’s tour was growing short and with death lurking around every corner, each moment was treated as the last.

The harsh reality was hitting closer with every trek into the dangerous jungle. A man could be too careful, too jumpy and too eager. It took everything Starsky had to keep it together with less than a month to go.

Both were called to Haverly’s office and they kept silent as their captain stuck the stubby cigar in the corner of his mouth.

“Two of you hotshots made a name for yourselves. Seems the brass saw fit to give you a high profile mission.”  
He walked to the map hanging on the wall of his office and pointed to a small isolated corner over two hundred miles away. “Intelligence thinks we’ve got a pilot stashed near this village. It’s isolated, but if who we think is there, we’ve got to get him out before he breaks.”

“Captain,” Hutch said stepping forward. “That area is VC territory.”

“You and your men will be airlifted here.” Haverly motioned to a clearing on the map. “You’ll hump the rest of the way in. Should take about 24 hours. Once there, you rescue the pilot and get the hell out.”

“This is a special forces op,” Starsky told him.

Haverly picked up the file and handed it to Hutch. “Special forces and Rangers have been redeployed in preparation for a major VC offensive. You’ve got a week to prep.”

Hutch licked his dry lips before speaking. “Yes, sir.”

“Dismissed.” Haverly sat down as Hutch left with Starsky following.

Once outside, Starsky got in front of Hutch. “Why didn’t you tell him?”

“Not much good it’d do.”

“This is a fucking suicide mission and you know it!”

“What the hell am I supposed to do, Starsky?”

“Go in there and tell him no.”

“And get thrown in the stockade for disobeying orders.”

“Least we’d be alive.”

“No, I’d be alive and whoever took command would die along with the rest of the men. You think I’m going to live with that?”

Starsky sighed and pulled a smoke out of the pocket of his shirt. “Guess we’ll all be coming back in body bags.”

“I’ll get you transferred to Saigon and in a few weeks you’ll be home.”

With a grim smile, Starsky lit the cigarette. “And you think I’d go along with that.”

“I was hoping.” Hutch took the smoke out of Starsky’s mouth, had a drag and handed it back. “Looks like we’ll be making the trip together.”

~*~

Sometimes the only cool air available in Vietnam was flying over the jungle in a Huey with the doors open. Looking down at the thick green, Starsky wouldn’t allow himself to think about the dangerous mission ahead.

All on his mind was his job. There was no room for doubts or questions. He looked at Hutch who had the same somber look on his face. He could almost see Hutch mentally walking through each step of their task.

Once the helicopter touched ground, Hutch was the first off with his M16 at the ready. Starsky dropped off behind him and then the rest.

Starsky looked over his shoulder and motioned for Masters to take point. He fell back to the rear behind the FNG, Turner. No one said much as they started towards the thick greenery and once inside, Hutch stayed near the front guiding the way by way of azimuth.

It was almost dark when they finally stopped and at that moment it chose to rain. The downpour would soon drench them and the men got their ponchos out and slipped them on.

In the wet darkness and grimy mud, Hutch hunched down under a tree and found enough protection to light a smoke.

Careful to keep the cherry hidden by cupping his hand, he took a long drag. Starsky kneeled in next to him and Hutch held the cigarette so he could get some much needed nicotine.

“How’s everyone holding up?” Hutch asked.

“Good, I think. Guard rotation is set. We all should be able to get a couple of hours in tonight.”

“Turner needs to get on point first thing, Starsk.” Hutch finished off the smoke and field stripped it before sticking the butt in his pocket. “He’s been in country two weeks already.”

“Yeah, I gotta talk to you about him.” Starsky eyed the dark jungle and wiped the rain from his forehead.

“What is it?”

“Hutch, Turner’s a kid.”

“Yeah, aren’t we all?”

“I’m serious. I overheard him talking to Eddie about his big brother a few minutes ago. Eight months ago Turner’s older brother went missing near Laos. Their boat went down.”

“So he came here to find him…lot of good that’ll do him,” Hutch bit out.

“His name isn’t Turner.”

Hutch’s eyes met Starsky’s and he sighed. “Shit.” He’d heard stories of this happening before. “How old is he?”

“He might not make 17.”

After he got to his feet, Hutch motioned to Starsky. “Come on.” They found the kid sitting near a tree waiting for his turn at guard duty. He crouched down. “The truth, right now.”

The sparse freckles on his face made the kid even younger. He wiped the dampness at his nose with the back of his hand. “Name’s Jimmy Carpenter. Saginaw, Michigan.”

“Stole a birth certificate that said you were eighteen,” Hutch surmised. “Stupid fucking kid.”

“I gotta find Allen. My mother’s been all torn up since we found out he was missing.”

“What do you think she is now with two missing sons,” Starsky told him.

Jimmy lowered his eyes. “Just had to do something, you know.”

Hutch gazed at Jimmy and told Starsky, “Keep him off point, but the guard rotation stays. Maybe he’ll make it out.”

“Lieutenant, I don’t want to be treated any different.”

“If it kills me,” Hutch swore. “You’re going home.”

When Hutch stalked off, Starsky followed and caught up to him. “Hoping too much, aren’t you?”

“We’ve got two missions now, Starsk. That fucking kid is going home.” Hutch leaned against a tree. “He should be in the back of his parent’s car popping the cherry of his high school sweetheart.”

There was nothing more to say. The night went without incident and at dawn the squad began their trek. Humidity hung over from the previous night’s rain and even the comfortable battle fatigues did little to stop them from clinging to their skin.

Once they neared the village, Hutch motioned for them to split off. He watched Starsky take half the squad and move to the far-side of the village. Keeping low, Hutch observed the small group going about their daily business.  
He saw nothing to indicate any VC was nearby. As was planned, he and those with him crept around the huts making sure no one knew of their presence. They met up with Starsky on the other side.

Starsky shook his head and they continued on towards the camp. Less than an hour later they arrived and hid among the trees. He kneeled down and took it all in. It was much smaller than he anticipated. Starsky’s gaze went to the guard tower and he saw no activity then to the front gate with the barricade over the front.

Hutch looked at Starsky who gave him a shake of his head. He pointed to Starsky and Masters then at the fence. Keeping his weapon ready for anything, Hutch watched them slowly come out of hiding.

A million thoughts went through Starsky’s head as he and Masters approached the gate. He watched the ground looking for tripwires and moved his eyes forward to the gate. No wires or anything else was apparent to give a hint to a booby-trap.

He tested the barricade while Masters covered his back. Starsky sighed in relief then got the gate open. He looked at Hutch and shook his head.

When Hutch and the rest of the men came out, he surveyed the inside. “I doubt it’ll do much good, but let’s check it out, anyway.”

The camp was so small that it only took half an hour to cover it. Starsky returned to Hutch and slung the M16 over his shoulder. “It’s only temporary. Whoever was here never pulled it down. Nobody’s been here in weeks.”

“Fuck!” Hutch planted his hands on his hips. “Let’s go back to the village. Someone there should know something.”

“If they’ll even talk. No telling how many sympathizers there are.”

One of the worst jobs in Vietnam was hitting a village. Most of the time it turned into a disaster and Hutch had little hope it would wind up otherwise. He would have to be a first-rate bastard to people who probably had little to do with the warring going on in their country. Their children would grow up to hate Americans and would be ready to kill him in a few years.

By the time the squad rounded up all the villagers including children, there were only about twenty. Hutch separated the elder away from the rest and wasn’t surprised at his broken English. Missionaries had paid a visit to the village when he was a teenager.

“Where is the VC?”

“No VC!” The old man shook his head in vehemence. “No VC here!”

“But they were here!” Hutch slung off his M16 and pointed to Masters, Jimmy and Starsky. “Search the village!”

As the place was being torn apart, Hutch looked into the eyes of the people. It was the old, women and children. The young men were either fighting or dead. Seeing the fear in their eyes turned Hutch’s stomach, but there were no choices.

He heard his name and turned. Starsky threw him an AK-47 and Hutch caught it with his free hand. With an angry stare at the elder, Hutch showed the weapon to him. “Where are they?”

“No VC! No VC!”

Hutch shoved the barrel of his gun into the back of the old man’s neck. “Talk!”

One of the women came forward crying and babbling. She was talking so hurriedly Hutch could barely make out a word she was saying. “What’s she saying?”

“Her brother, Jong Do,” The old man repeated. “He come here sometimes and bring VC. They gone for long time now.  
She say don’t kill us.”

Starsky came over to Hutch and spoke low. “Found a crate near a tunnel. Probably more further in.”

The woman continued talking and Hutch looked to the old man. “They go to Hanoi.”

“Goddamn it.”

“Hutch, we torch it and Charlie could zero in on us in no time.”

“Blow the tunnels and radio for a strike.” When Starsky left, Hutch kneeled next to the elder. “Get these people out of here.”

“No, our home!”

“Listen to me, old man! This place is going to be napalmed in a matter of hours. You stay, you die.”

If that wasn’t enough of a warning, the blasts shaking the ground certainly drove the point home. The elder got to his feet and began waving his arms and yelling.

Hutch stood as the villagers scattered to gather what they could. In a matter of minutes they were leaving. They would have to find refuge farther into VC territory. He couldn’t count how many people he had made homeless since he first got in country. It was one of the few options they had in denying the Viet Cong their hiding places.

“We got nothing,” Hutch told Starsky. He threw down the AK-47. “I hate this fucking place.”

They were soon back to walking. Masters had point. Behind him were Starsky, Jimmy, Hutch, the radio man, Eddie and two others protected the rear. Eight men in all were hoping to get home.

Their luck ran out two hours out. Masters and Jimmy were walking side by side. Jimmy never saw the bungee sticks coming and he was shoved aside as the sharp bamboo hit Masters’ upper thighs. His screams broke the silence.

Starsky ran over and looked down at the grizzly sight. “Damn it,” he breathed. When Hutch got there, Starsky said, “The chutes are covered in pig shit.”

It was a death sentence. The shit made beating an infection unlikely. Amputation couldn’t even stop it. Gun fire erupted behind them and Hutch grabbed onto Masters. “Cut him down!”

Eddie and Jimmy got the wooden barbs away from its base and they dragged Masters near a tree. They all took cover and Hutch stared at Masters. “Eddie, give him something for the pain.”

“No!” Masters swore. “Knew I wasn’t getting out of here. Need to be fucking awake, LT.”

Starsky took out a spare magazine and handed it to Masters. “Take as many of the sons of bitches with you as you can.”  
Grimacing at the agony, Masters forced a nod. “Drink a shot for me on my birthday.”

Jimmy’s eyes were wide with fear as he was pulled away. The squad ran deeper into the jungle in hopes Masters bought them enough time to get away. They managed to evade their pursuers and it wasn’t until the early morning hours they stopped near a large tree. Their pickup was still miles away.

Starsky pulled out his canteen and took a quick drink. He saw Jimmy lost in thought. “Get some water. Dehydration will slow you down.”

He looked up at Hutch talking with the rest of the men. He wished for a beer and a smoke. When Hutch came over, Starsky said, “They’re close. I don’t think we can stay here for long.”

“They probably already called for reinforcements. I’m telling you, Starsk, they won’t take me alive. I won’t let ‘em.”

“Me, too.” Starsky had heard too many stories about what happened to prisoners of the Viet Cong.

“We’ve got six hours of hard humping to do.” Hutch glanced at Jimmy. “Is he up for it?”

“I think so.”

“Does he know how to work the radio?”

“Yeah, he’s got the coordinates memorized in case…” Starsky lowered his eyes. He gave Hutch a half smile. “In case I forget.”

Hutch wished he could take Starsky in his arms, kiss away the fear and uncertainty in the both of them. He kept thinking about the last time in Saigon. In their room at the hotel the outside world disappeared for a little while. Maybe he would go to that heaven when he died.

The trek began once again barely an hour after they stopped. It would be midmorning by the time they reached their pickup. Hutch doubted they’d make it. The VC was getting closer and with each passing hour, their chances of getting out alive dwindled.

Keeping to the thick jungle paralleling their journey in was the safest. Going off too far meant getting lost and that was a death sentence. Not that they weren’t facing one already, but at this point they still had a chance.

Determined to keep Jimmy alive, Hutch put him between he and Starsky. The sounds of machine gun fire broke the morning silence and the firefight began. “Jimmy, get down!”

They found an overturned tree and managed to keep the overwhelming numbers of Viet Cong at bay. When a break in the fighting emerged, Hutch yelled, “Let’s go!”

At a fast pace, they continued their march through the jungle. They were still three hours away and the rising sun became the enemy as it exposed them in the daylight. Hutch glanced at his radio man. “Call headquarters. We need that bird in the air.”

“Yes, sir.”

The corporal had just started when a bullet blew out his front chest splattering blood on Hutch’s face. He dragged the body to the side and turned it over to check the radio. No time for remorse or sorrow, he yanked the radio off the body. “Jimmy! Get over here!”

Starsky covered the young grunt in order to get him to Hutch. He watched Hutch strap the radio on him.

“Get headquarters.” Hutch lifted his rifle and fired off several shots. He was handed the mic and rattled off the coordinates for an air strike before requesting dustoff. He continued shooting as he got to his feet. “Move!”

The remaining men ran as they tried to fight off the enemy. They had gotten several yards when Hutch saw Jimmy fall. Starsky got to him first and put Jimmy over his shoulder. He saw Hutch take a sharp turn down a ravine and he followed. He barely kept his balance as they all slid through the mud and leaves.

Everyone managed to hide while the Viet Cong searched around them. Starsky put his hand over Jimmy’s mouth before he could groan at the pain of a bullet in his thigh.

Hutch took a look over his shoulder and saw Eddie motioning for the all-clear. He waved him over. They hovered around Jimmy as Eddie checked him over.

“Went through,” Eddie bit out. He pulled out the sulfur and covered the wound. As he wrapped the field bandage around the thigh, Eddie said, “Femoral’s good.”

“Just enough morphine to take the edge off,” Hutch told Eddie. “You understand?”

“Not a fucking idiot, sir.” Eddie readied the syringe. “He’s gotta be able to walk and not give us away.”

“Starsky?” Hutch asked.

“We lost Hensley,” Starsky told him. “Two fucking hours. Might as well be two years.”

At the sound of the jets, Hutch looked up but saw nothing. “We need to move now.”

“Either get napalmed or shot by the VC. Nice choice.” Starsky wiped the sweat off his brow and looked at Hutch.

“I don’t know about the two of you assholes,” Eddie said. “Getting a bullet sounds preferable than being burned alive.”

“For once I agree with dickwad,” Starsky told Hutch.

They watched Eddie stick the needle in Jimmy’s arm. Hutch put his hand on the young man. “No matter what, you have to be as quiet as you can and keep moving. You slow us down and none of us make it out of here. We still have a shot.”

Jimmy nodded. “I won’t let you down, sir.”

Hutch moved away and got a look up the ravine. He heard Starsky coming up behind him.

“You can’t tell me you think we’ll get out of here, Hutch.”

“As long as Jimmy thinks we can. He’s the only one of us that might give up.” Hutch surveyed the area and pointed towards an overgrown trail. “There.”

“What?”

Hutch took out his map and studied it. “We’re here.” He ran his finger over to a line. “This trail will get us to the pickup, but its a few miles longer. We’ll have to pick up the pace if we’re going to meet the helicopter.”

“Charlie will figure it out.”

“Maybe not until we’ve got a better lead on them.” Hutch put the plastic-covered map away under his shirt. “That’s all there is.”

Starsky nodded and with a wave, they all worked their way to the trail and out of the ravine. The remaining squad members were doing a fast march through the thick jungle.

They were slowed down by the close presence of the Viet Cong, but managed to remain undetected. Jimmy clamped his mouth shut and swallowed the agonizing pain from being on his leg for so long.

When they reached the edge of the jungle near their pickup, Hutch looked to the skies. “Where the fuck are they?”

A bullet slammed into a nearby tree and Hutch turned aiming his M16 at the VC. He took two out, but more were coming. “Don’t move until you hear that copter!” He ordered.

Everyone made their stand knowing the odds were slimming down fast. Starsky tossed the last of his grenades and took out a group of VC converging on them. He stole a look at Hutch and for a brief second they knew this was it. If the help didn’t come right now, they were all dead.

“Sir!” Jimmy said. He was leaning on his good leg looking up. “They’re here!”

“Lay down the smoke.” As soon as the purple smoke began rising Hutch heard the whirly bird. “Tell ‘em we’re coming in hot!”

Jimmy relayed the info and when he saw the wave of Hutch’s hand, he and the rest of the men broke from the thick jungle out into the open. The crew chief on the helicopter was laying down fire to hold back the VC as they rushed towards the landing spot.

Starsky got down on one knee and fired at the rapidly advancing enemy as the helicopter landed. He didn’t let up as the rest of the squad got onboard. When Hutch called his name, Starsky turned and ran. He jumped in the helicopter and pulled Hutch in as it lifted into the air.

When he looked up, Eddie was working on a second bandage for Jimmy’s leg. The young innocent face was now gone and in its place was a battle weary man with aged eyes.

“Did they die because of me?” Jimmy asked. He flinched when Eddie gave him another shot of morphine.

“They died for all of us,” Hutch answered.

Jimmy wiped a stray tear off his cheek and leaned his head back. “Who the hell am I for three people to die for me?”

“Hey,” Starsky said. “You make your life worth it. You hear me? Make their deaths mean something when you go home.”  
That was when Hutch knew. Hearing Starsky say those words made one thing clear. He loved him.

~*~

Starsky lay back against Hutch’s chest nursing a cigarette. The sex had been a slow exploration to nirvana and he was still relishing the afterglow. In their Saigon room, they got a break from the war and released the tension that had been building up for the last few weeks.

“You check lately?” Hutch asked.

“One week, five days.” Starsky looked at his watch. “Thirteen hours and twenty-eight minutes.”

Hutch chuckled and ran his hand across Starsky’s chest. “Made plans yet?”

“Decided not to. Want to make sure I get there first.”

“You will,” Hutch said.

“Jimmy sure did love that medal you pinned on him, Hutch.” Starsky smiled at the memory. “The kid will have to fight the girls off once he shows it off wearing his uniform.”

“Haverly had to pull some strings to get him that honorable discharge.”

“He’s going to write and let me know how he’s doing.”

The information didn’t settle well with Hutch. He moved out from underneath Starsky and reached for the pack of smokes. After lighting one, he went to the window. No breeze was coming to cool off the humid room.

“Hutch.”

“Shut up.” Hutch stared out at the clear sky. “You keep telling me that we can’t once we’re home…”

“What you want to happen between you and me don’t exist there. The best we’ll ever have is here in ‘Nam, Hutch. No way in hell we could hack it here until the war’s over”

“I can’t just walk away, Starsk. Goddamn it, I can’t.”

Starsky went to him and leaned against the frame. “Can’t chance it at home. You know it that.”

Hutch toyed with the cigarette between his fingers. “I hate it, too.” Love you more, Hutch thought.

After dropping his cigarette outside the window, Starsky leaned into Hutch’s body. “Won’t be easy leaving you here, Hutch. You’re in my blood. Just promise you’ll save your own ass and get home in one piece.”

Hutch tossed his smoke aside in order to hold Starsky. “Want to let you know I made it.”

“This thing with us…we can’t take it home. God, I wish we could.”

“It’ll always be with me.” Hutch closed his eyes and imagined an impossible future for them. It’d never come to be, but that dream would stay with him for the rest of his days.

~*~

Standing not two feet away was Starsky. Hutch could easily reach out, pull him close and give him a kiss to take his breath away. The helicopter was waiting and the seconds were ticking down.

The goodbyes were awkward since they couldn’t say what they really wanted. They did that on the last trip to Saigon.  
Hutch struggled to hold onto the raging emotions and he didn’t trust himself to even give a brotherly appearing hug. He couldn’t do it. Starsky was walking out of his life and the pain of it made touching impossible.

Before he knew it, the helicopter was flying away with Starsky. Hutch planted his feet and watched until it was out of sight. He remained in place for a few minutes longer until he trusted himself to move.

~*~

When the California sun hit Starsky’s face he looked up and smiled. He stood at the top of the stairs just outside the plane happy to finally be home. Starsky hurried down the steps and he was almost to the door leading inside the airport when he got a surprise. Rachel Starsky stood nearby with his brother Nicky close by.

“Ma!”

They ran into each others arms with a mix of laughter and tears. Starsky pulled away and still couldn’t believe it. “What are you doing here? I was coming to New York in a few weeks.”

“What’s a welcome home without your mother?”

“Got any holes in you, big brother?” Nicky asked.

Starsky gave Nicky a bear hug. “You’re a sight for sore eyes, Nicky!” He saw his aunt and uncle coming closer and more hugs were exchanged. “I don’t believe it. You’re all here!”

“We wanted to surprise you, Davy,” Al explained. “Your mother and aunt have been cooking up a storm.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice. Haven’t had a home-cooked meal in so long I might pass out from the shock.”

They headed inside the terminal and stood near the carousel waiting for Starsky’s duffel bag. Starsky saw a hippy and his buddy towards their direction. He paid little attention to what Nicky was saying.

It was the look in the man’s eyes that had Starsky’s attention. When they approached, the hippy stopped and glared at the uniform.

“Fucking baby killer,” the hippy spat.

“Sorry, man,” the friend apologized to Starsky.

Stunned at the venom directed at him, Starsky watched the hippy being led away. He looked down at his uniform at the ribbons. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, Starsky looked at his uncle.

“Let’s go home, Davy.”

Starsky’s first taste of the anti-war sentiment was imprinted on him forever. He knew most against the war didn’t have such virulent feelings towards him, but the impact of the confrontation was enough to put away any pride he thought he would feel wearing the uniform.

~*~

Three months later Hutch came off the plane in Duluth with his family and friends waiting for him. They waved, held flags and gave him a welcome that he hadn’t expected. As he approached his parents, he was a little overwhelmed by the display.

“Son,” Richard Hutchinson said. They were eye to eye and Hutch was glad to see the emotion on his father’s face. “I’m proud of you.”

As they hugged, Hutch was confused. Why are they proud of me? I burned villages, killed people and did things not talked about by civilized society.

“Oh, darling,” Katharine Hutchinson cried. She pulled her son close. “It’s so good to have you home.”

“Good to be home, Mom.” Hutch grabbed onto his sister, Kat, and held her close.

“Kenneth,” Richard said. He pulled a young woman forward. “This is Vanessa Martin. She’s from back east and is here visiting cousins.

“Welcome home,” Vanessa said.

She was so beautiful, Hutch was momentarily taken aback. For the last months he had seen so much ugliness and this woman was a breath of fresh air. He shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Vanessa insisted on coming,” Katharine said.

“Thank you.”

Hutch went through the rest of the family and friends. He remained gracious despite their support of this horrid war. They didn’t understand and probably didn’t want to.

It was later in the evening after eating and mingling among the friends and family, Hutch sought escape in the library. He poured a glass of brandy and went to the mantel. Studying the family portrait, Hutch remembered how innocent…no, naïve, he was in those days.

That Ken Hutchinson was gone forever. Good riddance, he thought with a wry smile. Looking back now, he didn’t like that Hutch very much.

I wonder what Starsky is doing right now. The man was never far from his thoughts. In fact, he thought of him almost constantly wondering how he was and if he found his niche in life. Maybe Starsky was working to settle down with a family. Hutch hated the idea and pushed it out of his mind.

He heard the door behind him and turned. Vanessa had closed it behind her.

“Your mother is looking for you.” She smiled at him. “I told her you probably wanted some time alone.”

“Thanks.” Hutch took a drink from the snifter. “You want a drink?”

“No, I just finished a glass of wine.” Vanessa moved to Hutch and gazed at the portrait of the Hutchinson family. “You have a wonderful family.”

Being so close to her, Hutch had forgotten what it was like to be near a real woman. This one had smooth looking skin, smelled like roses and her smile was refreshing. After struggling to survive in the jungles of Vietnam, being near her felt good.

“They can be rather demanding.”

Vanessa laughed a little and looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “Do you want to escape for a while? I can make an excuse to get you out of here for a few hours.”

“Sounds great.” Hutch wanted out of his uniform and out of this house. “I know a few old haunts of mine if you don’t mind going.”

“Give me a few minutes.”

“I’ll change and meet you in the foyer.”

It was late when Hutch took Vanessa to her cousin’s home. They kissed and from that moment on Hutch was eager for her companionship, and her love. He found refuge from the pain he had been carrying. It was easier to forget all that he had lost.

~*~

Almost six months had passed since Starsky’s return from Vietnam. In that time he worked at his uncle’s garage, met a few girls and went out with some old friends. But nothing was giving him a sense a normalcy no matter how hard he tried.

His life was incomplete and no one had to tell him who he needed. It must have been obvious to those around him and Starsky couldn’t give them any assurances. As much as he avoided those conversations, he couldn’t deny how much he missed Hutch.

Starsky tossed aside the grease rag and slammed down the hood of the old car. He went to the front office of the garage and started writing out the receipt.

He remembered the last time he and Hutch were together in Saigon. Now, he wished he allowed them the exchange of information just so he could know if Hutch had made it home. All he knew was the name Hutchinson and Duluth. It wasn’t an uncommon enough of a name. Maybe Hutch was listed in the phone book, Starsky speculated.

“David?”

Starsky turned around and smiled when he saw his old friend. “Johnny, didn’t expect to see you here today.”

“Al told me you might have time to work on my car today.”

“Always got time. Something wrong with it?”

“It’s running a bit rough. I think a tune-up is in order.”

“I’ll get right on it.” Starsky put the receipt away.

John Blaine folded his arms and watched Starsky. “Are you okay, David?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Your family’s been worried since you got home. You haven’t been yourself.”

After taking out a cigarette, Starsky went to the window and lit it. “Harder than I thought getting back into the swing of things.”

“I was surprised you decided to come back to work here.”

“Didn’t know what else to do.” Starsky rolled the cigarette between his fingers. “You ever feel like you’re out of step with the rest of the world, John? Like everyone else is moving at a different pace?”

“More than I care to admit,” John said.

Rather than confess to the real reasons for his inability to adjust, Starsky turned to John. “You think you could use your cop skills to do me a favor?”

“What, David?”

“An old friend. I want to know if he made it home.”

“It might take some time. I don’t have many contacts in the military.”

Starsky was relieved. He would finally know.

~*~

So much had changed in such a short time, Hutch could barely recognize his life from before. After a whirlwind romance, he and Vanessa were married. A quick honeymoon in Hawaii and now he was attending UCLA law school.  
Hutch turned his attention away from the law professor and gazed out the window. He had a beautiful wife, was set on course for a law degree and all that was left was the large home to match. How much more depressing could it get? He was set on the very path he never wanted.

As soon as class ended, Hutch started towards the law library. His family had been surprised at picking a school so far from home. He knew what he was doing. Finding a southern California school increased the chance of running into Starsky.

The only step he hadn’t taken was going in search of Starsky. He could make up a lot of reasons to run into him accidentally, but it would be a lie. Hutch still missed him.

He had to see Starsky. As if his life depended on it, Hutch turned and ran for his car. He hopped into the three year old Mercedes and drove to the nearest phone booth. Once inside, Hutch flipped through the white pages and after finding a name, he dug for a coin and slipped it into the slot. When he didn’t get an answer, Hutch hung up the phone.

“Damn.” Another thought hit him. Hutch went to the yellow pages and found the listing for the garage. He started dialing the number, then stopped.

Starsky could hang up on him, yell at him or just let him know he wouldn’t see him. Any kind of rejection would hurt too damn much. Hutch ripped out the page and got into his car. He’d take his chances at a face-to-face dismissal rather than an over-the-phone one.

~*~

Starsky pulled the last spark plug out of John’s car and straightened. He tossed the part on the table and wiped the grease off his hands. John didn’t make any promises, but Starsky would still hold onto the hope. It was all he had right now.

“Davy,” Al said.

“Yeah.” Starsky looked down at the motor at the small oil spot near the carburetor. He would have to check that.

“There’s a guy up front asking for you.”

“Gimme a sec.” Starsky shoved the grease rag in his back pocket and headed to the front office. Once there he froze at seeing Hutch standing near the register. “Oh, my God…Hutch.”

“I kn…know what we s…said,” Hutch stammered. “I just…”

“Me, too.” Starsky wanted nothing more than to pull Hutch into his arms. “I was fucking scared to death that…”

It was damn awkward and Hutch kept his nervous hands shoved in his pockets. He tried smiling. “I couldn’t stay away.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. I should never have…”

“It’s okay, Starsk.”

“Let me get cleaned up and we’ll go get a beer. Catch up.”

~*~

Half an hour later they sat across from each other at booth in a small bar not far from the garage. When Hutch lit a cigarette, Starsky noticed the ring. “So you got yourself a wife.”

“Yeah.” Hutch looked at the ring. Marriage wasn’t exactly all the thought it would be. “Her name is Vanessa.”

“She pretty?”

“She’s beautiful.” _Too beautiful_ , Hutch thought.

“Law school?” Hutch nodded and Starsky took a drink from his glass. “Big house?”

“Apartment.”

“Good.”

“What about you, Starsk? Got a girl and a house, yet?”

“Hasn’t been time with work and all.” Starsky didn’t want to admit he really didn’t care about those things. “You hear from any of the guys?”

“Eddie’s in medical school. I don’t know about Jimmy.”

“Oh, yeah, he just got his high school diploma.”

The uncomfortable conversation they were having was constructed about the one they were afraid to have. The gold band on Hutch’s finger weighed heavier now. “You were right, Starsk.”

“About what?” Starsky took a smoke from Hutch’s pack and lit it.

“Us.”

“Rules have changed now. Even if you weren’t married it wouldn’t matter.”

“I had no idea how fucking idealistic I was until I got home. Got a pat on the back and a party for serving my country.”

“I got called a baby killer the first five minutes here. That’s when I knew home wasn’t really home anymore.” Starsky let a bitter chuckle escape. “Hell, the world’s still the same. We changed.”

“What we did over there didn’t mean a damn thing. Not to anyone.” Hutch lowered his eyes and gazed at the glass in front of him.

“Is that what you want to do? Make a difference?”

Hutch shrugged his shoulders. “I want to do something that matters.”

“Law school’s important.”

“The thousands of other people I go to school with probably believe that.” Hutch leaned back and sighed. “I hate law school, Starsk. Really hate it.”

Starsky smiled a little and flicked some ash off his smoke into the ashtray. “So find something you like.”

Raising his beer, Hutch said, “You first.”

Chuckling, Starsky lifted his glass and tapped Hutch’s. “Maybe we both will.”

~*~

The relationship picked up where they had left it except for the sex. It took little for Hutch to remind himself he was a married man and his vows had to come over any desire he felt for Starsky.

It had been over a week since their reunion and Hutch was beginning to find that sense of self he had lost. Maybe it was too much into Starsky, but with his former squad leader around, Hutch was more confident and the lost feeling had subsided.

Hutch set the salad on the table and checked over the settings to make sure nothing was out of place. Starsky was arriving for dinner and he wanted everything perfect. Vanessa had made plans with friends from the country club and refused to put them off.

After initially being upset, Hutch decided it was for the best. Vanessa was proving how much she enjoyed being a Hutchinson wife by spending more time socializing and spending the allotment from his father for their living expenses. The money he made from working part-time for a lawyer friend of his father’s covered the essentials.

When he heard the doorbell, Hutch hurried to answer it. He smiled at Starsky. “Come on in.”

Starsky whistled at seeing the fashionable apartment. “Some digs, Hutch.” He remembered the wine in his hand. “Oh, here. Aunt Rose said white for chicken.”

Hutch took the bottle and read the label. “She has good taste.” He went to the kitchen and took down a few glasses and uncorked the bottle.

“Where’s the misses?”

“Vanessa had plans.” Hutch poured them each a glass and handed one to Starsky. “Just us for tonight.”

“Well, it does smell good.”

“I remember your appetite.” After taking the chicken out of the oven, Hutch carried it to the table. He turned and saw Starsky approach the table with their wine. “I fixed plenty.”

They sat down and after their plates were filled, Starsky said, “I knew you had money, Hutch, but this place is something else.”

“My father has the money,” he reminded Starsky. “Van gets to do her shopping and I take care of the rest.”

“So that’s how it works.” Starsky took a bite of food.

“Only if you’re a Hutchinson.”

“If you don’t like it, change it.”

Hutch picked up his fork and stabbed at the salad. He didn’t want to admit how trapped he felt. “No, thanks. The couch hurts my back.”

 _Must be some wife_ , Starsky thought. He hadn’t even met her and already he didn’t like the woman.

The conversation shifted to old memories and the changes in their lives. After dinner they opted for a drive to the beach. Starsky wanted beer and they stopped off at a corner grocer on the way.

When they walked in the store a masked man had a gun aimed at the clerk and an elderly black woman was sitting on the floor. The robber turned the weapon on them. “On the floor!” he yelled.

Without question, Starsky and Hutch lowered themselves down. Hutch glanced at Starsky who was down just enough to satisfy the gunman, but ready to take action. They observed the thief go to the black woman.

He jerked her purse from her uncaring of her fearful cry. That was the opportunity Starsky needed. He leapt up and jumped on the criminal’s back and Hutch wrestled the gun away.

Once the robber was subdued, Hutch said to the clerk, “Call the police.” As that was being done, Hutch helped the woman to her feet. “Are you okay?”

Her nod was a shaky one and the police arrived to take custody of the robber. As their statements were being taken, a skinny black man shoved his way through the crowd and went to the elderly woman. “Mama!”

“I’m fine, sweetie.” She looked to Starsky and Hutch. “These two nice men saved me and Alfred.”  
Starsky and Hutch watched the son hug his mother then walk over.

“Name’s Huggy Bear.” He took out a card and handed it over. “Ever need a favor, call that number night or day. It’ll take more than a few to pay you two for saving my mama.”

“It’s okay,” Starsky said. He saw Hutch take the card and look it over. “Just glad we could help.”

“I mean it. You ask around and people will tell you Huggy Bear is good for it.”  
He shook their hands and went back to his mother. The clerk gave them each a free six-pack of beer before they left.

~*~

The night sky and rolling waves made for a relaxing evening. They sat on a blanket enjoying the breeze and drinking their beer.

“That was something else, you know,” Hutch said. He smiled in satisfaction. “Helping someone, really making a difference and not a body bag in sight.”

“Yeah,” Starsky agreed. “Good guys do win sometimes.”

They tapped their cans together and took a drink. Starsky lit a cigarette for Hutch and then one for himself. “Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be, Hutch.”

“What?”

“You and me working together helping people. No matter the shit in ‘Nam, we did save a few. Remember that little girl who walked into that minefield?”

“And you ran after her without even missing a beat. Took two hours to get you both out of there.”

“Don’t you see, Hutch? We can do that here, but we’re not fighting a war like before.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Police officers. That’s what we can do.”

“We’d still be fighting a war.” Hutch took a long drag on his smoke and sighed. “Maybe not the same one, Starsky, and not all of them will turn out as clean as what happened tonight.”

“I just thought…”

“I’m not saying it’s a lousy idea. We need to know what we’re signing up for this time.”

“I doubt it’d all be this exciting. Speeding tickets and pickpockets.” Starsky looked at Hutch and grinned. “Maybe we’ll get to break up a few barroom fights.”

“And you’ll pick up a few extra girls who love men in uniform.”

“We’ve been knocking around trying to figure out what we want to do since we got back. I think this is it.”

“You told me you have a friend that’s a cop.”

“Johnny. He could probably put in a good word for us and help push our applications through.”

“Maybe you’re right, Starsk.”

“Don’t go along if you’re not sure.”

“Remember what you told Jimmy after that insane mission? Make our lives worth something for those that didn’t make it back.”

The grin on Starsky’s face made Hutch smile. When he got an arm around his shoulders, Hutch’s heart skipped a beat.

It was the first show of emotion he’d gotten since seeing Starsky again.

END


End file.
